Dug my way out, blood and fire.
Bad decisions, that's alright.
Welcome to my silly life.
Junsu shut the door behind him as he run out of the house, tears just starting to fall down his cheeks. He heard it open once again, his mother yelling at him, but he couldn’t care less. He didn’t look back even once, not giving her the chance to see how she hurt him. He didn’t want her to see that after so many years, so many times her words still felt like a knives showed in his back. He didn’t want her to see that he took it to the heart even though he knew he shouldn’t, that he shouldn’t believe one single word she had told him. So he just kept walking, the direction already burned in his mind, he couldn’t forget it even if he wanted to. He just walked, straight forward, asi if nothing in this world could hurt him.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood.
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated.
Look i'm still around.
He knocked at the door, looking down at his feet. He didn’t look up when he heard the door open, not even when familiar strong arms embraced him. He just buried his face in Taecyeon’s chest and finally let the pain to take over him. His shoulders, his whole body was shaking, more tears were falling down his cheeks, his sobs were becoming louder and louder. He didn’t even notice when Taec dragged him inside and closed the door behind them, when he lifted him and carried him to his room to the bed. The only thing he could pay attention to were his arms embracing him, his hands soothingly caressing him, his silent voice calming him.
„Ma-maybe she’s ri-right. M-maybe I really ruined h-her life,“ he managed to say between sobs. „Maybe I sh-shouldn’t have been b-born in the f-first place,“ he felt Taec pulling away from him, maybe he had enough of this too. But then he felt Taec’s big hands cupping his face as he lifted it so he was looking right in Junsu’s eyes.
„And who would end that living hell and make my life bearable if you weren’t around?“
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel.
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel, like you're nothing.
You're fuckin' perfect to me.
Junsu searched for a lie in Taec’s eyes, but all he could see was pure love. His eyes were full of tears once again, when he threw his arms around the taller boy’s neck and hid his face in the crook. Taecyeon tightened his embrace around him.
„If it wasn’t for you I don’t know where I would be now. Because all I can think of is you. Your happines. I hit the rock bottom and I got up again just so I could help you to. I fight my own fate, I fight my drunkard dad, I figh everything that could ruin what he have. I try so hard just to make sure you will be happy with me, that you won’t miss anything. You saved me, because you needed to be saved. You’re the best thing that could happen to me. The most beautiful being I could ever meet. You’re my angel Junsu, don’t you ever forget that,“ he whispered that all to Junsu’s ear, his own tears started falling down his cheeks.
You're so mean, when you talk, about yourself you were wrong.
Change the voices, in your head, make them like you instead.
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game.
It's enough! I've done all I can think of.
Chased down all my demons, i've seen you do the same.
„You’re not useless. You’re not a burden. I’ve told you a thousand times that what she tells you is not true. That you shouldn’t listen to her. Why do you always let her hurt you?“ he hugged him even tighter.
„I don’t know,“ came weak reply. „She’s my mother, I can’t just block away what she says.“
„Yes you can. And you have to. You can’t let her destroy you. Because you”ve got your whole life in front of you. And you shouldn’t let her to take it from you. And besides, it would destroy me too. Because I’m nothing without you.“
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel.
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel, like you're nothing.
You're fuckin' perfect to me!
„I’m tired Taec. I don’t know how long I can keep this up.“ Junsu clenched his fingers around Taec’s t-shirt.
„You know we have to wait until we finish school. Then we will be free. And we’ll leave.“
„Promise?“
„Promise.“
The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear.
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer.
So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere.
They dont like my jeans, they don't get my hair.
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time.
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?
They laid there, two broken souls, embracing each other, both thinking, imagining what it will be like when they will finally be able to spread their wings and fly away.
„Taec?“ Junsu broke the silence.
„Yeah?“
„I love you. I love you for loving me. For saving me.“
„And I love you for the same and more. Because you’re the only perfection in my life.“
Junsu smiled, for the first time that night, and snuggled closer to Taec. He felt the big, warm, protective arms around him, and for a while he felt safe. He closed his eyes, and listening to the lullaby of Taec’s heart beating, he fell asleep, small smile on his lips.
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel.
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel.
Like you're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect to me yeahhh.
You're perfect, you're perfect!
Ohh pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel.
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty please, if you ever ever feel, like you're nothing.
You are perfect to me...
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- 1 Robinson44: Poznámky k filmu čo stále beží
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- 3 Mahmut: O čítaní z oblakov a o premenách foriem Pravdy
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- 4 Robinson44: Poznámky k filmu čo stále beží
- 5 Mahmut: Aby sa vedelo, čo je to vlastne dobro, pretože to nevieme
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- 10 Robinson44: Niekto musí ostať aj na ocot